- 8/15/05 - i made a new page for you to enjoy, roadkill. test your roadkill knowledge!!
- 8/15/05 - it has come to my attention that my page does not work properly with internets explorer. it is also not updated very often. okay two solutions here.
1. use firefox
2. shut up and get off my internets
- 08/15/05 - Fantastic Four - a catch phrase in this movie is "It's Cloberin' time". did you catch that? good, beacuse i am never in my life repeating that retarded ass line again.
1 robot Charlie and The Chocolate Factory - yet again johnny depp saves another movie. A mediocre-at-best script supported by even worse acting was his canvas, and johnny depp painted a master piece. ok, it's not a masterpiece, but compared to the fantastic fucking four its the mona lisa of modern cinema
7 robots War of The Words - aaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttt dsfsf2 df
0 robots
- 08/13/05 - Vanity Smurf - the world's first metrosexual
- 07/21/05 - sweep the leg johnny
- 05/31/05 - captain's log may 31st 12:41am: food supplies running low
i am growing suspicious of "the friend"
mission to the taco bell system has been planned.
"the friend" believed our mission should be to the distant yet alluring"wendy's" system
negotiations have broken down
i am afraid that billions will die in this confict
end log
- 05/29/05 - turtle sex (rated PG) right click and etc.
- 05/13/05 - so i was watching "Laguna Beach (the real O.C.)" and they were showing those kids watching the show "the o.c." then my head exploded
- 05/10/05 - Kingdom Of Heaven -
orlando bloom has a wide range of 4 emotions, all of which he uses in kingdom of heaven(R)starring orlando bloom and liam neeson. actually liam neeson has 11 seconds of screentime, this movie is about orlando bloom building water slides; if i just tickled your cinema bone dont miss this 4 hour "romp through the holy land".
Crash - ok this is one of those 'talkie' movies. you know what i am talking about. a movie the auidence actually has to have a basic understanding of the english language and cant just sit back, turn off their brains, and enjoy the pretty lights. yeah, these movies usualy suck. but this one was okay i guess. not for the average viewer (you).
XXX: State of the Union - Starring ice cube haha im just kidding i didnt see this shit
Hitchhikers etc. - instead of seeing this movie, take a rusty 12 inch saltwater fish hook and place it in the center rack of your pre-heated 475ºF oven for 12 to 15 minutes. carefully take out the hook and jab it as hard as you can into your scrotum. the effect will be the same.
Sin City - if i took a pen and paper into the theater i still would not be able to keep track of how many people get it in the face. without further delay sin city recieves the highly coveted
notarobot.com editor's choice award
- 05/10/05 - it's back! and better then ever. okay well i put in fourms. it just took ~ 8 months. enjoy
- 05/06/05 - notarobot.com - coming back soon parentheses this week i promise
- 9/2/04 -
- 9/2/04 -
- 9/2/04 - there is a new bailiff in town
- 6/30/04 - I just got back from seeing
Spider Man 2:The revenge of that one newspaper dude seriously this movie is mostly about him and his family
And i have to say, as the title of this film suggests, there is a lot of that one newspaper dude. I thought maybe two or three scenes with him would have been cool, but there are no less then 185 minutes of screen time devoted to him. He is also involved in SEVERAL PLOTS. If you like newspaper managers shooting off witty remarks for 2 hours SEE THIS MOVIE NOW.8/10 robots(must see for newspaper dude fans)
- 6/30/04 - not a robot.com has been ripped off
- 6/03/04 - breaking news: i hate every single one of you
- 5/22/04 - most people wear clothes. some people are not robots. this is the logical result.
- 5/12/04 - i am asked many times a day: "Nathan! Why don't
you update your website about robots more often!?". i'd like to answer
this
1. yes i do work out, thank you for noticing
2. (scenario 1) no i am sorry, i am busy friday night. let me give you my number though, and you can call me later <hands you fake number>
(scenario 2) in this scenario you are a very hot girl, and we are making out already.
3. this is not a website about robots. this website is about how i, nathan, am not a robot. this is in case a robot is ever sent from the future to destroy mankind. who do you think is going to be first on the list of not being that robot? that's right, me. because of this website. could a robot design this webpage? probably, but the layout would be a lot better.
4. updating a high quality website such as this one, is hard work, and requires many hours of hard work of which i do not have. between my long hours of volunteer work in the community, working out, and kicking ass, i have very little free time. you see i am a superhero here to deffend the free world againts the dreaded blue tailed south american goat. you say you've never seen or heard of this creature? exactly.
5. ASK ME AGAIN I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.
i hope that this clears up any questions you may have about me or my website, not a robot dot com
-
5/9/04 - Van Helsing: this movie is about a man who kills vampires. and other things. mostly vampires. there are some really good effects and the first 45 minutes have some good music and action. then the plot starts to drag. the effects wind down and the music stopped for some reason. but it all comes together at the end...until the very end with the CHEESIEST ENDING EVER. i thought i was watching an 80's disney cartoon about dogs .
4 out of 7 robots
Mean Girls: This movie features soon to be 18 year old movie star 'Lindsay Lohan'. Lindsay Lohan is very hot. Any motion picture with lindsay lohan in it would be worth 10 dollars to see. this movie is no exception. There are some other people in it, and they say some stuff. you dont need to worry about that. SEE THIS MOVIE NOW.
10 out of 10 robots
EDITOR'S CHOICE AWARD
The Punisher (R) : the punisher is based on a true story about a once happy inner-city dective who becomes a superhero and fights crime. or maybe it's a comic. that's not the point. the point is LOTS OF PEOPLE DIE IN THIS MOVIE. and i dont mean, really old people sitting around having heart attacks. ONE DUDE GETS IT IN THE FACE. though, there is a serious lack of hot, mean girls. because of this sad fact the punisher (rated R playing in a theater near you probablY) falls short of the coveted, editor's choice award
6 out of 8 robots
Mean Girls 2 (Pool Party): this movie is not being made right now, but it should be. this movie would feature a lot of mean girls around a pool. in bikini's. lots of other stuff would happen. some people would die. there would be a problem with the pool filter. maybe some llamas. llamas are pretty cool. they have big tounges.
(not yet rated)
- 4/24/04 - i can not make this stuff up.
- 4/11/04 - happy easter, web adventurers
- 4/8/04 - i like to call this picture "lake superior"
- 4/3/04 - a key ingredient for success in college today is attending
class.
the more you know.
- 4/3/04 - did you know: the microscope was discovered by accident in 1527 when copernicus tried looking at his dog with a telescope. the dog later died from rabies.
- 4/3/04 - hello welcome to my inter net site. it is about not being a robot. do you enjoy robots?
POLL: robots
enjoy - 9
not enjoy - 3
- 4/2/04 - robots are here
- 3/22/04 - i will be updating random sections of this website a lot more often for instance today there is more art
- 3/12/04 - Orlando pictures so, there.
- 3/12/04 - it's okay! i had subway
- 3/12/04 - they said "do it for the team, johnny". and johnny did it. but he didnt do it for the team. johnny did it for a completely different reason.
- 1/30/04 - robots
- 1/29/04 - the huge update i have been promising is right around the corner. there are pictures and art and excitment coming your way.
testimonials from actual notarobot.com fans:
Julius -
"i visit not a robot on a daily basis"
Matt -
"notarobot.com is my favorite site on the entire inter...ARGGG...<unintelligible> "
(matt was eaten by a crab do not try to contact him and/or find out if he ever even existed.)
- 1/11/04 - i love urinating while drinking a glass of water
- 12/29/03 - oy vey
- 11/22/03 - warning: persons denying the existence of robots may in fact be robots themselves.
- 11/2/03 - happy november! here are pictures of glenn the praying mantis. it is a special november present to you, the reader.
- 10/29/03 - so we had the fire over the weekend. that was pretty exciting. flames got really close to my house. about 10 houses away. then we were left with the smoke which is just annoying. now today we had a few minor earthquakes. either we are in a really bad simcity2000 scenario or god hates us
- 10/22/03 - i got a new camera. here is a video i made. Battle Royale (right click - save as).
- 10/22/03 - Nathan Smith
- 10/20/03 - the flying sqUAD OF JUSTICE welcomes you
- 10/7/03 - everything is gonna be alright.
- 10/6/03 - oh yeah. okay i will update more maybe.
- 9/29/03 - lets get political. the california recall election is coming up and i have decided to vote for arnold schwarzenegger. the issues are really important to me and all but i really just dont want to get him upset. afterall, he was the tall guy from twins.....umm....the terminator....i mean.
- 9/27/03 - hello doubtful
- 9/27/03 - a saturday afternoon project. the goal was to replace the picture tube of an iMac. i present to you: the iSkeleton
a fine machine, aside from the fact that the black suction cup thing has about 13,000 volts running through it, and produces a loud crackling sound while the computer is running. just dont touch it and you will be okay!
- 9/25/03 - im kind of like a pengin because i am cute and can't fly.
- 9/24/03 - today is national 'give nathan a kiss day' (observed). have a safe holiday everyone.
- 9/22/03 - random pictures are up so maybe you will go look at them now or not you know whatever
- 9/20/03 - added links, other pictures will come tomorrow
- 9/19/03 - welcome to my website. okay.
- 9/17/03 - THIS DOES NOT WORK YET GOOD BYE
- 9/17/03 - redrumredrumredrumredrumrerum
- 9/16/03 - the other day i went to wash my car and i only gave myself 45 minutes to finish before i had to go to class. i had to wait for the sun to go down because i wanted to wax my car so it is nice and shiny and everything. well everything went okay except i only got halfway done before i had to leave. so now my car is half black half dirt. i would probably finish the job if i wasn't so lazy, so i don't see that happening any time soon.